This is auto response..
Enjoy this.
A Third grade teacher collected well known proverbs. He gave each kid
in the class the first half of the proverb, and asked them to come up
with the rest. Here is what the kids came up with:

Love all, trust … me.
No news is … impossible.
Strike while the … bug is close.
A miss is as good as a … Mrs.
A penny saved is … not much.
Don`t bite the hand that … looks dirty.
You can`t teach an old dog … math.
None are so blind as … Helen Keller.
The pen is mightier than … the pigs.
An idle mind is … the best way to relax.
Where there is smoke, there`s … pollution.
Better to be safe than …. punch a 5th grader
Happy is the bride who … gets all the presents.
Never underestimate the power of … termites.
When the blind lead the blind … get out of the way.
If at first you don`t succeed … get new batteries.
If you lie down with dogs, you … will stink in the morning.
Children should be seen and not … spanked or grounded.
You get out of something what you … see pictured on the box.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and … you have to blow
your nose.

You might have seen a lot of cute baby videos but this one is anything but cute. Let us just say this one is about someone special, gifted and smart !

In a world where tonnes of people are ‘neck deep’ ambitious about acting in a movie or theater and becoming an overnight star but only ‘waist deep’ when it comes to talent, here is a baby who seems to have hit the jackpot, taking a toddlers’ histrionic abilities to the ultimate level. You have seen babies cry, smile and laugh.

The difference is this one does not just do it but does it well and when told to do so ! Apparently, the woman shooting the video is asking the baby “Now cry!” and “Now smile!” and look at how he/she accomplishes the same. Unbelievable…you go baby!

Beware! Marriage is not a word.
It’s a Sentence….not a Simple Sentence… but a Life Sentence!

Marriage is an institution in which
a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and
the woman gets her Masters.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus –
Engagement ring, Wedding ring and Suffe _ring.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take.
The husband gives and the wife takes.

After Marriage, it is sure she will make you a Millionaire!
Condition is that you should be a Multi-millionaire!

They say marriages are made in Heaven.
But so is thunder and lightning.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin;
they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.

Aptitude Question asked in Mannar & Company placement exam:

Prove that…
If tan x = n, then…
Zebra = Horse.
————————————————————-
Answer:
Given: tan x = n..
Cancelling ‘n’ on both sides, we get
tax = 1
Multiplying both sides by Horse , we get
Tax Horse = Horse
nNw…most important….
Tax Horse in Tamil is Vari kudhirai, which is Zebra in English…
Therefore…
Zebra = Horse
Therefore LHS = RHS
Hence Proved.

During a night sleep time:
Wife:
Darling! Some voice and noise are being heard in the Kitchen.
Perhaps some thieves may be there to steal our things.
Please go and check up.
Husband:
(He checked the bolts and locks. All were intact and came back)
Hey! No body is there.
If thieves come they would not make any voice or noise.
With all silence they will steal and go away.
Please sleep quietly.
Wife:
(Being restless for sometime, Wife waking him up)

A sensitive conversation between a School going Child and Father -

Child :
Dad! How did I come to Earth?
Father :
To avoid (embarrassment) An Angel dropped you one day.
Child :
How Mom came to Earth?
Father :
Mom was also dropped by an Angel.
Child :
How Grandma came to Earth?
Father :
(With all irritations) - Why? She was also dropped by an Angel.
Child :
Hmmmm… My Goodness, you mean to say for three generations
there is no sex in our family!

Dear Sweetheart,
I can’t send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart, my darling.
Your husband Allen

His wife replied back after some days to her husband:

Dearest Sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1.. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month’s milk.
2.. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3.. Your house owner is coming every day and taking one kiss instead of the rent.
4.. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other things…
5.. Other expenses 40 kisses .
Please don’t worry about me, I have a remaining balance of 21 kisses
and I hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next few months? Please Advice!!!
Your Sweetheart,
Diana